It was another irk day which starts since morning til nite, near to midnite in fact in A&E. Packed wit procedures, endless admissions and classes to attend. By the time the sun sets, my brain usually wud be asking for more glucose which earlier been burned up for those purposes. Oftenly, it left me fatigue and decrease in level of consciousness which wud be only be compensated by – REST, SLEEP wud be a better option. Today was something quite gratifying i wud say .
This 40 yrs old Indon was brought in by his pals, found him unconscious wit his mouth choked with bubbles. Seems to be a suicidal case according to his pals’ stories. I secured his circulation, and tried to access his consciousness, well he is barely conscious. Everything seems fine from the cardiac monitor, n well my boss was bit of lepak-ed. I was bit of relaxed too while doing those procedures on him. Nothing took us off-gut since then, n his condition was overall stable. He regained his consciousness within half an hour later, and stared at me when i was away busy wit something else, but stil an eye distant lar.
I approached him then, bad me..wit the intention to knoe how he poisoned himself. Coz it really stirred my curiousity of BYGONE poisoning, Yes, its BYGONE- the cockroach spray. I was lame enuf at tat point of time to think, tat he mus be thinking tat himself as a giant cockroach which eventually causing me to chuckle in front of him before the conversation began. I was quite thrilled, when he was the one of kicked start the converstaion. “Young man, thanks. U r a good man and doctor”.. Uh, I was immediately trapped, engulfed wit tonnes of guilt. I was paused coz i wasn expecting it from him at all. Only then, i revelead my identity to him.
He was telling me his feeling when everything was grey in his world and i am the first and only person he saw from his eyes clearly when he was stil semi-conscious, trying to save his life..but of course there’s few others la,i’m not the hero in anyway, ka-le-fe me. It was a total different kinda of eye-stare from a person, tat i anyhow cudn’t describe. Its was jus my pure human instinct to derive such a chemical output. I am sure i was not being perasan la. All my tension jus slipped away from my shoulder and i was on cloud nine. It was so surreal, touching my inner sense of emotion, jus dunno why. I felt really being APPRECIATED. Uh..
We ended up both chatting and sharing till the psychiatrist arrived. And i was welcomed by him when he shared his private stories wit the psychiatrist. I got my answer there, anyway. hehe.
I am not sure if ageing been one of the causative agents, but this small occasion did really sparked my memories especially during my rebellious period. It finally make some sense to me when ppl are always saying tat even a smallest act of gratitude wud have made the difference.. Was chuckling all the way home in my car, while trying to dub the songs from the radio where possible. Was sometime ago since i felt good, really good~ =)