Yenwee’s Weblog

C107 shall we..

Look upon the day(7th August’09)  when every single C107 souls painted with smiles of joy,

To step into one’s niche in medicine world for wat we’ve fought for gruelling 5 solid years,

Forget the fear being skipped, and dropped away from the finishing line which awaits  jus in front of our very eyes,

Becoz we are here today, MEANT to cross over it,

We are MEANT for it, C107.

We shall fight all the way, and show how C107 will create another history in this 4 days, as expected…rite?

C107, shall we ??!!

ALL THE BEST AND MAY GOD BLESS C107~ 

Oh holy..goodness gracious…!!

Its my weight!!!Flabbergasted, Bewildered, Astounded,Staggered…and watever greatness words can offer, I jus can’t believe it!

I jus can’t believe it! I gained 7kg in 6 months!!!!Shit man…Shit. Standing at the 65kg currently, no no, I am not pregnant..i am OVERWEIGHT!!!

My BMI is currently 23.9 which is OVERWEIGHT!!!!

Oh..wat the..

I am stil in active-flabbergasted stage…

No, no, no…I am not quitting yet..jus not yet to quit blogging. Hehe, its been really so long since i blogged. Well, much attributed to my time mismanagement, and sucky slowmyx internet connection and others la.

My latest update, I’d moved back to KL after the short course in Batu Pahat, 6 months, in fact its about 5 months plus only.

I miss Batu Pahat in a way, well, many ways. Much more than Seremban in fact, where i spent 2 years there. Batu Pahat is the last resort  which me n my colleagues gonna spent our last schooling years. A total of 5 solid years of degree, started back in Bukit Jalil, KL. Currently, we’re on 1 week break before our finals next week, the final countdown.

The very last day in Batu Pahat, was the busiest day in the so-called IMU White House. Everyone gushed for their last minute touch-up in their portfolios and handed in.

See, those usual cam-whores didn even look at mine. Got la..2 there.

See, all last minute. Hehe..Tat includes me actually.

Well, 5 months and 2 weeks here actually owed quite a lot to few staffs here. IMU staff, who treatead us like one of their family members. If one day i am unemployed, or can’t failed to the finishing line in semester 10, I would be the first person to apply for the vacancy for their job. Damn happening man, their task. tsk tsk. They are the monitors for jokers like us, as we never fail to give them headache. Even to the very last day. Hehe Let me introduce the IMU Batu Pahat division crew members. On my left kak Hafizah, Mdm LohLL. The other not in pic one is Abang Fadil. Too bad, can;t get a good pic with him.

One group random group pic

Lastly, of course i miss my house in back in Batu Pahat. Miss quite a lot. Somehow jus miss la.

Some how i miss this home.

My room. Look only can feel the coziness rite? Hehe..

Last but not least, perhaps the most tat i gonna miss is this table. Its PC table which had served me n my family for 14 years. Aih…

Its been awhile I kept in me. I know it perhaps would have stirred ppl who have known me years, perhaps puzzled for how i am  a failure in expressing myself saliently. This is just me, however insofar as i tried to change, i surrendered of how discrepancy meant in this world. There’s no second me, but myself. Some ppl think i’m that, some may think I’m this, and some think that i’ve changed…Yes i agree i”ve changed, but its for good for myself. 

Of late, i’ve been frustrated. Getting easily frustrated of myself, and things that get to me. I wonder why i can’t be just like other ppl to strive wat aimed. Yes, I am comparing myself, but its another view of challenging myself to capture a victory. I cannot make that to happen however much i tried. Idea is there perhaps, but way is incorrect? No, i tried to alter, and each time alter i adhere to it, but to no result. It stil ended up the same. I cannot understand why izzit so hard for me to achieve wat others can achieve. Am i being too absorbed by the imitations of others that i lost my self’s steps? I am not sure..

I lost my self dignity and lost of respect to myself.  It deteriorates, til to a level of confidence which welcomes oppression others on me. I grow become weaker n weaker. Yes i am aware, but i’ve already trapped in this hole. A hole which no one is able to get me out. Yes yes, there is one – myself.

Exams is around the corner, and I am still pondering of how am i going to get through this. I did look beyond that once a while, but still ultimately it comes to this dot- exam. Only i realise those are yet for me to think about..Stil loads of uncertainties.

Ppl say growing to be man is difficult. It can’t be learnt overnight and by teaching. Its by self experience. I agree to 101%. Perhaps i hope i am right by not self-comforting that i am in the process of doing so.

Oh god,I do believe in You. I admit all these had shuddered my believe in You. My gut feelings tells me to hang on believing in You…

But, I am not sure how long i can hang on…

Today’s portfolio assessment was damn nuisance. Well, not the’s lecturer’s part, but on my part. Was really frustrated at myself. Perhaps i shudn’t had force myself to carry on. sigh sigh sigh…
I really gave him a full sucky impression on my already half sucked medicine knowledged. Aiks…Bengang man, kena taruh like crazy, and worse still i can’t rmr wat i kena taruh-ed jus now..Sigh, i better carry on my CRIB before my condition worsen.
Had been feeling not well since this afternoon, been feverish, and feeling giddy this whole day. Just can’t focus.Sigh again…

Lately, i noticed tat sensitive side of me are getting more allergy towards a certain behaviour of ppl around. Somehow, i got easily perturbed by the human nature – selfish.  To care for ourselves when certain circumstances are limited  to accomodate our needs, its fair. But being over-exerting the caring towards ourselves, i think its bit too much.

No hard feelings for those i know, but i think lately things had changed. Perhaps the circumstance had force us to be so, i dunno. Perhaps kids had grown up, and achievement are being overly emphasized. I don understand.

Who says age does matter when comes to love?

Lol..Hope this video able to break this weekend’s blue with laughter.

Meanwhile, schol’s starting soon again, tmr gonna travel down to Batu Pahat. Am looking forward tat.

So after 2 weeks of draught, we finally put our step down on Batu Pahat land.

 83 candidates and 83 passed!!!

Our dean was grinning from the angle of jaw to the other end. All of us were on cloud nine. Tears were shed of hardwork which finally paid off tat day itself.

So, off we rushed down to batu pahat the nex day itself to settle down our new settlement there, for another 6 months before we can throw our mortarboard.

Meanwhile, during this 1 week break, i did organized a small trip with friends, 9 of us altogether to Penang, while stopping by Sitiawan, and Taiping. All i rmr along this trip was just binging, binging n binging… I am fat now. Real fat now. Not to count in the weeks before exam without exercise, and now binge loads of food. 5 kg a sheer increase.

So right now, i finally can settle down at ease to rest before going back to batu Pahat for our new semester…Final semester. Got nothing much to expect except shedding those extra adiposesss enveloping my waist n tummy.hehe.

Looking forward..*Taken while driving back along the old rcoastal road back to Sitiawan from Penang

2 yrs ofhardship, sweat and tears had finally come to a test. A test for every brave soul of C107 to draw a final step nearer to the finishing line. Indeed, we knew, feel and saw what awaits in front aftermath.

Hold your ground, hold your ground, my fellow friends. I see the same fear, that will took the heart of me. A day when when the courage of men fails crashing down, when we forsake our own very own effort, our parent’s effort to bring us to this stage, but it is not this day!! Days of woes, and shattered spirit n determination when we will came down crashing on the land! But it is not this day!! This day we fight!! By all that u hold dear on ur own flaming spirit, i bid u guys, “Stand up again, and show them wat we’ve got!!”

All the Best C107.

May God carries every single soul of C107 through this.

At this period, every hour, minutes, and seconds do really count for me, as my final exam so called Final Professional Exam part I is very near around the corner. This words jus can’t perpetrate through my stressed mind. I hate this period of life. I really hate it, exams! My hatesttest things in the world- exams,i repeat.. My paling hatesthatestesttest things in the world..sigh, but somehow life got to go on. Things ain’t turn the way we wan always in life rite, without exam equal to no gradute..sigh again.

Well at this period somehow, or shall i say by miracle i felt at eased with vast pleasure filling in my fully saturated mind. Something i didn expect to happen, happened…Nope, its not the abolishment of exam..

I went dragging myself to ward again, n this time i’m doing Internal MEdicine. The most boring, mind-draining-to-nowhere posting, where things are abstract with all the physiology here n there, but at the end of tha day, pills are the saviour.  I just don’t like this posting la. So tat day was exceptionally tasteless to me. I got to present a case to one of my cardiologist lecturer who demands a very high expectation from students which is good for students, but not for me.

Somehow and someway, i knew this cheerful chap who had a rare cardiac failure due to heart muscle disease, wat we call cardiomyopathy.  A very coperative and sporty man at his age. I knew when it comes to heart muscle disease, prognosis is not something plaseant to touch about. N its really hard for this man, who was previously a national athelete and currently still being active in his field to accept the fact that his has cardiac failure due to such condition. Placing myself in his shoe, i don dare to immerse myself into tat.

I got along with this chap quite well. Perhaps with his easy going nature. Everytime he asked me if how things go i just dunno how to explain as wat i thought the way it is, is not going anywhere in the end. Well, n so my cardiologist lecturer actually hear my brief history of mine. Somehow, in the end of story, it seems tat wat ppl say, silver lining along the dark clouds lah paint on his face. Its a paint of HEAL. A cure.

He explained the whole story to him professional in front of us. And the upmost outline of his story is tat he is treatable. I was quite amazed the way he was conveying the whole story of medical jargons to a layman. The chap was on cloud nine, and sparks of light glows in his face. He looked at me, holding my hand with his 2 hands saying thank you to me, few times. I didn really expect that. I was really satisfied and pleased.

This hope in this patient tells me to give myself a hope and a try to strive in this posting, hopefully. All this kinda circumstances doesnt come out everyday. I am pleased =)